Things about Tron I couldn’t remember:
- Boredom
- Journey
- Londo Molari
Title: | Tron |
Director: | Donald Kushner |
CGI: | Timeless |
Score: | 100/6 scary, 6/6 funny |
Drink of the day: | Farris |
Resolutions, reviews, rants, raves.
Good when it’s good, but… You’ve all seen Rocky, right? Rocky 1, I mean… You know that montage where Rocky works out, runs up some stairs, that whole thing? Imagine that scene is an hour and fifteen long.
The normal length director’s cut should be brilliant!
Title: | Pacific Rim |
Director: | Guillermo del Toro |
Could’ve been worse: | They could have based the other half on the bitching scene from Rambo. |
Score: | 50% |
Drink of the day: | CC |
Title: | Resident Evil |
Director: | Paul W. S. Anderson |
Thank you: | For resisting the urge to overexplain every little tidbit. |
Score: | 4/6 |
Drink of the day: | Ice cream |
Reheat yesterday’s minestrone. |
Blend. |
Strain off the liquid, reduce, add tinned tomatoes, reduce. |
One beaten egg goes into the solid bits. |
That wasn’t enough. One more. Unbeaten, just to change it up. |
Still not thick enough. Maybe some cous-cous will sort it. |
Yes, much better. Fill cannelonis with resulting mess. |
Oh noes! All my cheesy sauce slid off! |
Guess I’ll eat it anyway. |
A highly contageous disease that turns people blind prompts the worlds governments to intern patients in prison-like institutions without wardens. Although an interesting premise, exploring group dynamics in a stressed population, it ultimately falls short of its potential thanks to a poor dialog, bad acting and Danny Glover.
Title: | Blindness |
Director: | Fernando Meirelles |
Plus points for: | Julianne Moore |
Score: | 3/6 |
Drink of the day: | Coffee, tea, whatever’s left for me. |
Someone at the start of the film asked for directions to the nightclub “Bunker”. I’ve been to the night club Bunker in Barcelona, and I don’t think that name is a coincidence.
Title: | The Human Centipede (First Sequence) |
Director: | Tom Six |
Nightclub of the year: | Bunker |
Score: | 1/6 |
Drink of the day: | Chocolate milk. |
Notwithstanding several lol out loud moments, I can’t help but think that if they’d cut all the scenes that made me go “AARGH! TARANTINO!!!” it’d be a lot more reasonable in length.
Title: | Inglourious Basterds |
Director: | AAARGH! TARANTINO!!! |
Actor of the year: | Christoph Waltz |
Score: | 8/10 |
Drink of the day: | Lemon fizz |