Ponderous Personal Projects

Knockaround Guys [2001]

Knockaround Guys
Brian Koppelman / David Levien
3/6

Run of the mill wise guys faire with featuring of the worst actors in human history, Seth Green, that is at least killed towards the end. Still watchable, though.

Clash of the Titan [2010]

Clash of the Titans
Louis Leterrier
2/8

Better effects, fewer redeeming bits, more arduous action sequences. Like it’s in a hurry to reach the next CGI fight.

Not as bad as The Mummy.

Clash of the Titans [1981]

Clash of the Titans
Desmond Davis
3/8

I declare this Bad Movie Weekend 2019.

Airplane vs. Volcano [2014]

Airplane vs. Volcano
The Kondelik Brothers
2/6

Also a very stupid movie that gets everything wrong, but this one isn’t being a dick about it.

Approaching the Unknown [2016]

Approaching the Unknown
Mark Elijah Rosenberg
0/6

A very, very, very stupid movie. And not in a good way. I mean, not a single thing makes any sense—this movie literally gets everything wrong! I am impressed! Zero points!

The Manxman [1929]

The Manxman
Alfred Hitchcock
5/8

A fishing community on the Isle of Man unite forces to fight the evil capitalist steam trawlers. If they’d succeded, maybe we wouldn’t be quite as far up shit creek now. And then the story begins.

The Abyss (special edition) [1989]

The Abyss (special edition)
James Cameron
4/6

Two hours and forty-five without feeling long… That’s gotta be worth some points.

Btw, I think the special edition ending makes infinitely more sense than the theatrical release.

Make it happen, Bezos!