Ponderous Personal Projects – Resolutions, reviews, rants, raves.

North by Northwest [1959]

North by Northwest
Alfred Hitchcock
6/6

2:16 and not a minute too long. He is good when he’s good.

Life [2017]

Life
Daniel Espinosa
1/6

A film about a man-eating starfish from Mars made by someone who doesn’t know anything about anything, with a cast of exclusively morons and some of the worst CGI we’ve seen in years. Garbage!

Valkyrie [2008]

Valkyrie
Bryan Singer
0/6

Have mercy!
I have accidentally a Tom Cruise video!

MAKE THE BAD MAN STOP!

Mute [2018]

Mute
Duncan Jones
2/5

Take-out drone delivery in the park—that’s a future I want!

Shazam! [2019]

Shazam!
David F. Sandberg
4/6

If only all superhero movies were like this.

God Bless America [2011]

God Bless America
Bobcat Goldthwait
4/5

It’s true!

Transformers: The Last Knight [2017]

Transformers: The Last Knight
Michael Bay
5/7

I have seen Anthony Hopkins running.

No spectacular surprises, but nothing horribly annoying either, except towards the end where we had the usual mandatory fisticuffs; enough with the fucking fisticuffs already! Anyway; it was alright, but too long.

And too much Jared Leto!

Aquaman [2018]

Aquaman
James Wan
1/6

This may actually be the worst film ever made. I predict that in ten or fifteen years, will show it at film clubs alongside Plan 9 From Outer Space and the likes. The only positive thing I can say is it made me want to play Subnautica again.

C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud [1989]

C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud
David Irving
2/7

Looks like these people thought C.H.U.D. was a comedy.