Author: Gunnar

The Internets gave it 3.9 at imdb.  What’s wrong with you people??  It’s fine!

It falls into the crippled superhero trap I ranted about earlier, but I guess that’s the point.

Title:	All Superheroes Must Die (aka Vs)
Director:	Jason Trost
Score:	6/10
Points for:	Style.

I’m a nice guy.  I gave those asylum people a chance.

Title:	Atlantic Rim
Director:	Jared Cohn
Score:	1/6
Endurance:	30 minutes.

The documentary 300. By history channel. Feels made up. On tablet. Client sucks. Details later.

General Trius and Kevin, agents from the planet Hondo, come to Earth to unleash a virus to kill off it’s population, but ends up in a folk band.

Title:	The History of Future Folk
Director:	John Mitchell
Score:	5/6
Best song:	The classical banjo medley.

I don’t understand why this movie exists.  It doesn’t grind my gears or anything, but there’s basically no content. It starts, stuff happens, and then it’s finished.

Title:	A Knight’s Tale
Director:	Brian Helgeland
Score:	3/6
Bonus point:	For not pissing me off.

David Suchet in a Poirot as someone else… How confusing!

Title:	Thirteen At Dinner
Director:	Lou Antonio
Score:	3/6
Ustinov:	He’s starting to fill the cup, isn’t he?

?????             ????????

“Hey, this isn’t meatballs 2!”

Title:	Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
Director:	Lord Miller
Score:	1? 2? 3? 4? /10?
Dub:	Mid-level.

Research mission to Jupiter’s moon Europa, something lurks under the ice, you know how it goes.  It’s a genre I guess.  Not bad.  Bit boring though.

Anyway; I think I’ve sussed something.  I think maybe sci-fi directors are a bit embarrassed to make sci-fi films.  I think they’re afraid that people will think they’re childish, so they try to make grown up serious sci-fi, instead of the spaceship- and alien-bonanza they really want to make… 

“Temper, temper”, they’d say to themselves… 

Well we all know what Yngwie Malmsteen has to say about that…

Title:	Europa Report
Director:	Sebastián Cordero
Score:	3/6
Tentacles:	Yes!!!

Feels exactly like a planetside episode from DS9.

Title:	Battlefield Earth
Director:	Roger Christian
Score:	2/6
Peeve:	90% of the shots were all crooked like.

And then he went out and bought a spirit level.

Exactly what it sounds like.

Title:	Avalanche Sharks
Director:	Scott Wheeler
Score:	3/6
Eighties:	They’re back!