I didn’t have high hopes for this one, but boy, was my skepticism ever turned to, well, to enthusiasm? Answer: Yes! Attack The Block is a good old-fashioned alien horror flick echoing long lost terrors of The Thing, War Of The Worlds and Cujo, in which a pack of criminal teenagers get chased by a pack of murderous space monkeys for an hour and a half, amidst a healthy helping of blood, guts and fireworks. Marvellous!
|Title:||Attack The Block|
|For the scrapbook:||The teeth!|
|Drink of the day:||…I forgot to hydrate!|
The Saw-franchise takes an unexpected turn for the worse with Saw 3D. I’m a bit of a splatter aficionado, so liked the previous six movies, but this is like a clip show. And what’s with the cheesy gore? Those are clearly saussages ripping out of that lady’s belly at the start. Were the other six movies this cheesy? I don’t think so. Maybe I should watch them all again…
“I watched it in 2D.”
|Title:||Saw 3D: The Final Chapter|
|Memorable moment:||The previous six movies|
|Drink of the day:||O’Boy|
|The lip theory still holds.|
The story of father Oliver O’Grady, serial child molestor, and how the catholic church thinks not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Recommended for all who feel they need a little more anger in their life.
|Title:||Deliver us from evil|
|Director:||Amy J. Berg|
|Score:||25 kids and counting|
|Drink of the day:||Fizzy lager|
Tonight’s double feature sees Stephen Fry orchestrate a heist to liberate some bad scottish art from the clutches of the evil banking system, while Michael Cera gets it on with Ellen Page. Much drama ensues. Stephen double crosses Mike the Scott, Jason Bateman double crosses Jennifer Garner, Mike the Scott’s girlfriend saves the day while Michael Cera is the secret envy of the football team.
“It’s got nails!”
|Title:||Doors Open / Juno|
|Director:||Marc Evans / Jason Reitman|
|Score:||4/6 / 5/6|
|Drink of the day:||Yet another Dark and stormy!|
I tried googling some analytical text I could rip off about the Machinist, but all I could find was articles about how thin Christian Bale is. Surely there’s more to this movie than that. I spent most of it confident that Bale was replaying history with both Ivan and Nicholas in the roles of himself, both Maria and Stevie as his mother, and both himself and Ivan as his father. I can say this without spoiling the movie.
“Insomnia’s a bitch!”
|Memento:||How thin Christian Bale is.|
|Drink of the day:||Dark and stormy (again!)|
Paul Bartel’s 1975 vision of the future of sports and politics sees Nero the Hero, Calamity Jane, Frankenstein, Rambo and Mathilda the Hun racing coast to coast while racking up points for running over women (10p), teenagers (40p), senior citizens (100p), etc.
Think Rollerball with cars. And more cleavage.
There isn’t really much to say about Death Race 2000. There’s an incompetent resistance, an evil dictator, a sudden plot-twist involving the allegiance of the antagonist, gratuitous violence, cleavage, yada, yada, yada. Nothing wrong with any of that, although the following year’s Cannonball (also by Bartel) was a definite improvement.
“Mister President is in his summer palace in Peking. He loves everybody, and everybody loves him.”
|Title:||Death Race 2000|
|The memories:||The mammaries|
|Drink of the day:||Hamar & Lillehammer Julebrus|
|The first horror hairdo to cross over into sitcoms?|
My little project is off to a flying start with what can only be the greatest movie ever made. A sweet little tale of boy-meets-girl-then-tortured-by-baby-and inlaws. Also the greatest soundtrack ever made. Allegedly, Eraserhead won every academy award for 1977.
From here on in, it can only get worse.
“I’ve seen it more times than I’ve had a Rusty Trombone.”
As with all great films, every time I see Eraserhead, I discover something new. This time, I noticed Henry lives in apartment number 26, which is not how old David Lynch was when he joined the fatherly ranks.
|Cherished moment:||Julee Cruise singing in the radiator|
|Coctail du Jour:||White Russian|
|White russian (badly made).|