Ponderous Personal Projects

The Silence of the Hams [1994]

Il Silenzio Dei Prosciutti
Ezio Greggio
Who knows?/6

I don’t know what to say, other than this double feature was a good idea.

The Silence of the Lambs [1991]

The Silence of the Lambs
Jonathan Demme
5/6

We all know it. It’s a pretty solid piece of work.

Deadpool 2 [2018]

Deadpool 2
David Leitch
5/6

Can we have a superhero movie without time travel please?

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers [1954]

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Stanley Donen
2/5

Someone on the internet said this was the best musical ever. I say it’s the most meetooish musical ever. I’m pretty sure I’ll still prefer Cannibal! The Musical.

The Wrong Man [1956]

The Wrong Man
Alfred Hitchcock
3/6

They called it a “bass fiddle” in the fifties.. Huh!

I suppose what they were trying to do was to portray the Wolverine as a deeply conflicted and tormented old man, and not just a huge asshole, but they didn’t pull it off. I don’t agree with the kid’s dice, by the way.

Deathgasm [2015]

Deathgasm
Jason Lei Howden
4/6

Very metal! Such splatter!

Red Dawn [2012]

Red Dawn
Dan Bradley
1/8

I was wrong! It’s the DPRK!

Red Dawn [1984]

Red Dawn
John Milius
1/6

Mindblowingly bad, but literally everyone from the Eighties is in it. I wonder, is this the film Canadian Bacon parodies? I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that in the 2012 remake, it’s Iran that invades murrica.