Ponderous Personal Projects

It’s really assault on Precinct 9 division 13. Simply the best siege movie ever made.  

Title:	Assault on Precinct 13
Director:	John Carpenter
Score:	6/6
Awards:	Best music. Also diction.

Einstein, Gödel and Podolsky commit grand academic fraud to lure Meg Ryan away from Stephen Fry and into the arms of Tim Robbins, automobile mechanic.

Title:	I.Q.
Director:	Fred Schepisi
Score:	3/6
Rom-coms:	Why don’t they make them anymore?

Look at those cool cameras!

Oooh…

Ooh-ooohh!

OOOOOOH!

I am intrigued…  

Title:	Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives
Director:	Apichatpong Weerasethakul
Score:	4/6
Deliciousness:	Tamarind honey?  Where can I get some?

Documentary about a group of people intent on colonizing the moon.  Now.  

Title:	Lunarcy!
Director:	Simon Ennis
Score:	4/6
Moon deeds bought:	0.

I’m not going to make any scholarly claims here, but were there really trolls in the bible 1?  Or cannons? Or corrugated iron?  Or jeans?  

Title:	Noah
Director:	Darren Aronofsky
Score:	1/6
Positive point:	Hermione.  Still legal.

I tried to like it.  I really did. 

Title:	Being Flynn
Director:	Pauk Weitz
Score:	3/6
Crack:	Bad, hmkay?

Professor Jonathan Venkenheim believes the mythical samsquamtch is the actual Frankenstein’s monster, and sets out to find him. This film documents his journey. 

Title:	The Frankenstein Theory
Director:	Andrew Weiner
Score:	4/6
Points for:	Obscuring the REDACTED

I don’t get it….

Title:	Upstream Color
Director:	Shane Carruth
Score:	?/6
?:	?

Comedy-thriler-drama-crime.  Not my favourite genre combination, so I’ll let the female unit roll the dice.

Title:	Dom Hemingway
Director:	Richard Shepard
Score:	5/6
Plusses for:	Music.

Scripted by the numbers as only Hollywood can.  Still, surprisingly watchable.

Title:	Real Steel
Director:	Shawn Levy
Score:	4/10
Annoyance level:	Moderately moderate.